Recovering After Being Ghosted

June 22, 2023

Ghosting is unfortunately a common phenomenon that singles face in the modern dating landscape. Ghosting means when someone stops communicating with you out of the blue without giving you an explanation, then they disappear….like a ghost. Ghosted can leave you feeling confused, hurt, and questioning your self-worth. However, it's essential to remember that you are not alone in this journey.

Clara* (not her real name) is one of our clients at Lunch Actually. Before joining our service, she faced difficulties filtering her matches on dating apps. She consistently ended up with insincere men who showed no respect for her. Her last relationship lasted a year, and when she asked her partner, "Are we going anywhere in this relationship?", he slowly distanced himself and eventually disappeared without a trace, as if nothing had happened. This incident shocked Clara and left her feeling depressed for some time.

Upon seeking help from Lunch Actually, our coaches provided effective strategies and practical tips to help Clara recover from being ghosted and regain her confidence in the dating world. If you find yourself in a similar situation, you can also apply these strategies!

1. Acknowledge Your Feelings and Give Yourself Time to Heal

When you're ghosted, it's natural to experience a range of emotions, including sadness, anger, and self-doubt. Allow yourself to acknowledge these feelings and understand that it's okay to be hurt. Give yourself permission to grieve the loss of the connection you thought you had. Remember, healing takes time, so be patient with yourself during this process.

2. Avoid Blaming Yourself

One of the most common reactions after someone ghosting you is to blame oneself. It's important to understand that ghosting is a reflection of the other person's behavior and not a reflection of your worth or value. Remind yourself that you deserve someone who respects and communicates with you openly. Don't let someone else's actions define your self-esteem.

3. Seek Support from Friends and Loved Ones

Reach out to your support system during this challenging time. Share your feelings with trusted friends and loved ones who can provide a listening ear and words of encouragement. Their support will remind you that you are not alone and that there are people who care about your well-being. Surrounding yourself with positive influences can help speed up the healing process.

4. Engage in Self-Care Activities

Focus on self-care to nurture your emotional well-being. Engage in activities that bring you joy and help you relax. It could be exercising, practicing mindfulness or meditation, indulging in a hobby, or pampering yourself with a spa day. By prioritizing self-care, you're sending a message to yourself that you deserve love and happiness, regardless of someone else's actions.

5. Reflect and Learn

Take the opportunity to reflect on the experience and learn from it. While ghosting may have been painful, it can also provide valuable insights. Assess the relationship or interaction leading up to being ghosted and identify any red flags or patterns that you can be mindful of in the future. Use this as an opportunity for personal growth and to refine your own dating preferences and boundaries.

6. Open Yourself Up to New Connections

When you're ready, don't let ghosting hold you back from pursuing new connections. Understand that not everyone you encounter will ghost you, and there are people out there who will appreciate and value you for who you are. Be open to new experiences and allow yourself to be vulnerable again. Approach dating with a positive mindset, knowing that the right person is still out there waiting to meet you. You can try a trusted dating agency like Lunch Actually to help you find compatible matches and arrange amazing dates for you!

Recovering from ghosting can be challenging, but it's important to remember that it's not a reflection of your worth. By acknowledging your feelings, seeking support, practicing self-care, reflecting on the experience, and opening yourself up to new connections, you can overcome the pain and regain your confidence. Remember, you deserve someone who will communicate openly and treat you with respect. Stay hopeful, and with time, you will find a meaningful and authentic connection that brings you happiness and fulfillment.

Maria Azzahra