A Letter to Those Who Are Single and Dating | Dating Agency | Lunch Actually

September 4, 2018

Dear You, (yes, you, who are single and dating)

It sucks that we’re living in a time and age where people put so much pressure on our relationship status and whether we're single or dating. Especially come wedding season when we just want to hide from the aunties and their “so when is your turn?” question.

Really though, let it be from creating a social media profile or a job application, when it comes to filling up the “relationship/marital status” there’s always a part of you that cringes when you fill it up.

Well, let me tell you something that is probably shared and posted on hundreds of crooks and crannies online:

“Love yourself before you look for someone to love you.”

When someone says it’s okay to be single sometimes we feel it’s out of sheer sympathy and not wanting to hurt your feelings, though there may be some truth to it, it really is okay to be single instead of settling for someone just for the sake of it and I’m gonna tell you why.

Contrary to popular belief, there’s no expiration date on love. When you get in a relationship, you’re not just sharing pictures on social media together, you’re giving a part of you to the person.

Your quirks, your secrets, the part of you that’s just yours. It’s the most privileged access one can get their hands on. So, you can’t just pass it on to the next person you see just because “you’re not getting any younger”.

Relationship is a marathon more than a sprint.

While the idea of snuggling up to the person next to is a dream, I can’t tell you how important it is to have your emotions intertwined just as much as your fingers together.

You need to acknowledge your value and how dear your heart is before expecting someone else to. Think about it, we’re so protective and skeptical when our best friend starts dating someone (cue FBI skills) because we know what an amazing person they are and nobody is going to be good enough for them, so why when it comes to ourselves we’re so quick to
compromise? (p/s: NOT a rhetorical question)

We need to reject the idea of "someone else will complete you."

Single or dating, you need to be complete by yourself first, then the person you’re with should be the one to complement you.

Like a nice piece of juicy steak. It’s perfect by itself but pair it with a warm gravy filled mashed potatoes and BOOOM! A whole new level of awesomeness. Doesn’t mean steak by itself isn’t enough because seriously, I would have it every single day for the rest of my life and die happy with high blood pressure. NOT.EVEN.JOKING.

You have so much of care and love in you that you want to shower it on someone, maybe that someone should be yourself first. Why does going for a movie or a meal alone has to be related to feeling self-conscious or sorry for yourself?

NEWS FLASH: It doesn’t! Take charge baby! You don’t need to wait for someone to come and make you feel special because you already are.

Bottom line there is not black and white rule-books designed for like and love and everything in between. The one thing you CAN take control of is yourself and how much value YOU give yourself (be that yummy sizzling steak!).

When you don’t compromise on that, nobody else would dare to and that’s the first step to a happy life.

You are more than enough, I promise!

Maria Azzahra