How to Win on Dating Apps

January 6, 2021

Nowadays, almost everyone is on dating apps. They are easy to use and convenient. However, they’re not necessarily simple to master. You not only have to pick photos of yourself to show the world, but you also have to figure out how to fill out your profile, chat with matches, and, eventually, ask someone out on a date. Here’s how to win on dating apps and to make the most of your profile, and, hopefully, find some love online.

Craft Your Profile

One of the common mistakes we usually find on dating apps is the profile is too short and doesn’t show who you are. For example: Max, 29 years old. I love travelling, hiking and basketball. The key to make an interesting profile is conveying sincerity and vulnerability.

The best way to demonstrate sincerity is to write your main bio in a loose conversational manner without trying to “big” yourself up. This isn’t a resume; you aren’t auditioning for anyone, so don’t write it like you are trying to impress. Just be yourself, really. Just lean on your real personality. If you don’t like traveling, then don’t write you love travelling. Don’t lie on your profile just because you want to impress someone.

Vulnerability is the essence of opening yourself up without fearing rejection. Are you a tech geek? Do you love gardening? Then put it on your profile! Don’t be afraid to tell people who you are and what you love doing.

Rather than writing “Max, 29 years old. I love travelling, hiking and basketball.”, you can elaborate it to “Adventurous soul with a dream of traveling the world with my significant other. I once skydived just to conquer my fear of heights! A digital marketing manager who treasure family more than anything, so would love for my partner to also have strong family values”

This is the example structure to craft your profile that tells a story:

1st paragraph: Open with a funny opener
2nd paragraph: Talk about your interests
3rd paragraph: Your passion
4th paragraph: Your profession

This way your profile would be interesting and show a different aspect to your personality! And it’s easy to read and digest too!

Choose the Right Photo

When it comes to common mistakes on how to win on dating apps, there’s one that is easily overlooked, which is over-filtering of pictures! When singles were asked, which types of dating profile photos are the most irritating - 30% said overly-filtered or fake photos!

Editing pictures has become very easy these days thanks to a lot of free photography apps out there! It is definitely not a bad thing to filter your pictures - but overdoing it can completely change the way you look. Do take notes that your match wants to know what you really look like.

The rules are clear: make sure your match can see your face, don’t make evil edits, avoid group photos, and don’t use too many selfies. Most people either upload too little pictures or too many! The ideal number is 3 - 4 pictures! The key is to upload different pictures. Sometimes, we see profiles with 3 - 4 pictures of the same poses/angles, even though they have had the correct amount of pictures, their pictures do not help them share their personality or create a story of who they are.

You should always aim to have at least 1 picture that is able to show your personality (travelling, hobbies, funny or active pictures), 1 picture is closer up and able to see your face clearly & 1 full body picture. The photo of you doing your hobbies can be a good conversation starter.

Use colors to stand out! If you’re female, putting on light makeup will help! Remember to smile! :)If you are a guy, do avoid posting too many selfies as usually it is not very masculine.

Avoid covering your face or looking down as it makes you look sad or unhappy. Which is not the impression you want to give someone who doesn’t really know you yet and they are still judging you based on the pictures you have put up!

Send the First Message

Definitely, “hey” or “hi” or “how are you?” are boring and they’re not going to facilitate an interesting conversation. Start your first conversation with a comment about their profile or their photos. You can try “Hey, I read your profile that you tried skydiving before! I plan to try it next month. Mind sharing your experience?” then the conversation will go smoothly. Another tip on how to start a conversation is creating topics out of daily life, play games, friendly competition for example “I read on your bio that you always win in board games - up for a challenge? I bet I can beat you :P”

When you say something cheeky, please add emojis so that it is CLEAR that you are joking! Once you are comfortable texting, initiate a video call to confirm their profile!

We understand not all singles might be ready to meet up in person ASAP! So what should you do if you’re in this position? What if you’re not ready to meet up in person? First of all, don’t just say no. If you give a flat out rejection, the other party might not feel inclined to ask you out again! Instead, you can say that this week doesn’t work, how about next week? This gives you enough time to get yourself emotionally ready while not rejecting a potential match!

Now you have mastered the basic dating apps rules and ready to win on dating apps, it’s time to find the right match and find love. Good luck!

Maria Azzahra