6 Warning Signs of Toxic Relationship

Maria Azzahra

July 7, 2022

Did you miss the signs of toxic relationship? Johnny Depp sued his former wife, Amber Heard, became one of hot news all over the world. In the 2018 op-ed she wrote for The Washington Post, she described herself as a "public figure representing domestic abuse." Even though Johnny Depp was not named in the article, it was affecting his career and he claimed it cost him lucrative acting roles. The case has just ended with Johnny winning the defamation case.

With the case being broadcasted around the world, it brought a light on toxic relationships - which are also experienced by many singles and couples. Most of cases, the victims or even both of the couple did not realize that they are both toxic because they're not aware about signs of toxic relationship. And hurting each other throughout the relationship, even if it might seem obvious to other people.

Here are 6 warning signs of a toxic relationship you must beware of:

1. Jealousy and lack of trust

Relationships are supposed to be our safe place to be vulnerable, have someone to rely on, and grow together in every aspect. In a toxic relationship, They will be very competitive, not in a healthy way because they don’t let you be better or be with someone better than them. One of the parties will be afraid for their partner to leave them. Thus, they will control who you see, who you like, etc, and not let you grow to be the best version of yourself.

2. There is no ‘Take and Give’ just ‘All Take, No Give’

Healthy relationships are being happy together with fulfilling each other's needs and wants. When you feel like you’re always pleasing your partner and revolve only around what makes your partner happy without considering yours, you need to stop.

Frequently, you will think it's normal and you can be considerate of your partner's behavior. Then, you hope they will change. But, it revolves around you, you will only give them without taking something back.

3. Making excuses for your partner's behavior

If you ever heard your close friend criticize your partner, and you always argue that ‘you don’t know him/her like I do’ but you don’t really feel about it, that was a red flag. When you ever feel like you are forced to defend your partner, you need to think again about your relationship.

How to identify toxic relationships, which once you recognize these feelings, it is time for you to reconsider your relationship:

4. Communication feels exhausting

In any relationship, communication is the key. When you feel everything you say is being turned against you, you slowly stop trying to even say what you feel because you know where it’s going to lead. When you say things like “I’m feeling really down about work lately” and the type of response you get would be along the lines of “You seem perfectly fine when your friends are around.” Everything feels like it’s your fault.

5. You’re constantly set for a trap

Every question, every statement feels like a trap. A path laid out where at the end your partner “proves” a point. For example, instead of asking “Do you want to have dinner with me?” The question is phrased as “Would you rather be glued to your laptop or have dinner with me?”. By any chance, if you answer anything other than what your partner is expecting, it becomes a generalized war like “You always…” or “You never….” However, it’s an entirely different result if the roles are reversed.

6. My way or my way?

A controlling behavior can grow into something very ugly. Just because you’re a couple, doesn’t mean you need to agree with everything your partner says. It doesn’t mean you love them any less just because you have a different point of view. A supportive partner would respect what you have to say if they don’t agree with it. As much as everybody wants to be two peas in a pod, you’re still very different peas and that’s okay.

Those are 6 warning signs of toxic relationship. What we can learn from them is, that both women and men are capable of being abusive. Both women and men can be victims of toxic relationships or domestic violence.⁠Having toxic relationships is not a sin. You don’t need to hide it from another person, especially the person you trust. We as a person, can not change someone else's character and behavior. When we love someone, we often think that we can handle their bad behavior and fix it if we are patient enough to stay, but that is not true. Remember that we deserve a happy healthy relationship. Before you’re involved too deeply with someone who has characteristics that can cause a toxic relationship, make sure you identify the red flags and leave. And if you are already involved, seek help from someone you trust or even a professional.